Flashback to a Previous Life

After spending the weekend in New Jersey (NOT NYC, unfortunately), some classmates and I were scheduled to fly back on a 9pm flight that would get us back to LAX at just past midnight. I figured that would get me in bed by 1 or 1:30, and, when combined with the sleep that I’d get on the plane, I could wake up at my usual 5 o’clock and be down but not out for the workday on Monday.

Of course, this plan quickly went awry when we were delayed multiple times. First, a gate change. Then, a delay at the gate. Finally, we board and I’m sitting comfortably (loose use of the word) in my aisle seat. Then another delay on the tarmac. Damn!!! I was convinced that, due to all the noise regulations that dictate when planes can and can’t land and take-off, we would end up spending the night on the East Coast and catching a God-awful 6am back. This happened to me a couple years back, and our plane was forced to land in Buffalo due to bad weather in NYC. Even with Seinfeld reruns and room service potato skins, there’s not much fun about spending a night in Buffalo, believe me. Fortunately, things turned out better this time, and we managed to get out of there, finally landing at LAX around 1:45 a.m. “Sweet!”, I think to myself. I can be in bed by 2:45 if this all works out OK.

Of course, it does not all work out OK. It took forever and a day for our bags to come out, and, despite the efforts of an aggressive cabbie speeding down the 405 and the 10, my head did not hit my pillow until around 3:15 a.m. That 5 a.m. alarm is looking awfully close.

So I woke up Monday morning on a few hours of beer-induced plane sleep and a couple hours of toss-and-turn sleep at home (tossing and turning mainly because I was stressed out about how little sleep I was gonna get, which, yes, I know, is counterproductive). It reminded me of my previous life as an investment banker, when working 10 or 12 or even 14 hours after just a few hours of sleep was not an uncommon way of life. Of course, I was in my early 20’s back then, before my liver and brain had suffered the lagged damage caused my mass consumption of alcohol and association with below-average-intelligence friends. So I was very curious to see how my mind and body would respond to these adverse conditions. In honor of Bill Simmons and his comedic running diaries of the annual NBA Draft, the following is a summary of my day:

5:50 a.m. – After grabbing my coffee on the way to work, I’m driving East on Santa Monica Blvd. towards the office. Multiple cars in adjacent lanes seem to be off-track and keep venturing dangerously over the line a good 6-12 inches into mine. I’m pretty sure that this is really happening, and that it’s not just the lack of sleep playing tricks on my eyes. In any event, I am relieved when I arrive to work safely. Since I’ll never know whether or not those cars were actually in my lane, I have to call this one a draw.

6:15 a.m. – I am conscious enough to go through my work emails and process them appropriately, including doing some quick analysis and sending a reply to an email from my boss. Yatin 1, lack of sleep 0.

6:30 a.m. – I spill close to half of my Honey Nut Cheerios (milk included) all over my desk. Tie game.

7:30 a.m. – On my way back from the restroom, I bump into the Xerox machine. Lack of sleep 1.5, Yatin 1. I figured there was a 50/50 shot that I’d bump into the Xerox even if I had gotten enough sleep, so I can’t give it a full point.

9 a.m. – “Is it really only 9 a.m.???” I think to myself as I finish coffee #3.

11:27 a.m. – Just got coffee #5. It’s a “half-caff” though and will most likely be my last of the day. Things are looking up. I’m being pretty productive, though likely not operating at 100% of capacity. I’m at about the halfway point of the workday. My boss is off at some meeting or appointment, potentially for the rest of the day. I’ve refrained from attacking any of the quick, pick-me-up sugary snacks available in the kitchen. Yatin 2, lack of sleep 1.5

3:47 p.m. – I’ve made it. Pretty much anyways. I’ve read some research and built a DCF model with “Base”, “Bear” and “Bull” cases (talk about flashbacks to being a banker), which is the main thing I wanted to accomplish today, although I probably could have done more. I even managed to run out and deposit my last paycheck and the long-overdue money I was owed from Atur’s bachelor party. I’ll be out of here in less than an hour. It might seem a small accomplishment, but I’m quite proud of having made it through today without falling asleep at my desk or causing any major accidents – the Cheerios incident notwithstanding. I even have the energy to go to the gym for a workout, but instead I have a lot of errands to run and figure I deserve a day off. Maybe 27 isn’t so old after all. Maybe.