I think it moved

Just kidding. TOTALLY kidding. Anyways, today felt like an appropriate day to comment on one of the most undesirable recent changes to my life. Worst than homework, study groups, lack of a paycheck, LA traffic, etc.

Communal showering. Let me make this clear. I’m not showering WITH anyone. Just the whole public showering in the locker room of the gym deal. I’ve been doing this on most weekdays since orientation started in mid-September, and trust me, it’s not something you get used to. The sporadic hot water, the little plastic soap-holder that we all had decades ago when we were living in college dorms, tiny little bath towels. But, given my hectic and unpredictable afternoon and evening schedule, the only alternative is to wake up an hour earlier and drive all the way back home to shower after working out, and all the way back to campus for class. And frankly, I’m not willing to sacrifice that amount of espn.com or Seinfeld time.

So my new daily schedule consists of working out, taking a short-as-possible shower (usually 5 minutes) within eyeshot of a bunch of wrinkly old and fat men, and then getting dressed and heading to campus. And then when I get home, since I kinda rush through the morning shower, I always take another shower. Not the most efficient use of time, but again, no real alternatives outside of cutting down my workout schedule and subsequently turning into one of those wrinkly old fat men I spoke about earlier.

But today, oh man, today, something unpredictable and just horrifying happened. The shower I went to had a bunch of body wash/lotion bottles in the shower-rack thingy, but I figured someone just left their empty bottles there so I went ahead and started my business. Then. God. It’s tough to re-live this. Then, as I was finishing up the shower, I hear a male voice saying something to the effect of “Excuse me, do you mind if I grab my stuff from the shower rack?” WTF???!!! Did this (naked) guy really just ask me (another naked guy) if he could squeeze through and get his stuff??? Did the thought ever occur to him to wait until the shower was free? Or to just let it go and buy some new body wash??? It was a horrific experience and I’m surprised I was able to get out any words at all. I told the guy that I was almost done and to wait a few seconds and then quickly, knees trembling, turned off the shower and grabbed my towel and got the hell out of there.

Seriously. It did NOT move. I swear.